Dear Everybody: We Apologize

Source 11.12.2018 Entertainment, Featured, Life, Sports , , , , , , , ,

Good morning.

I’ll be brief.

On behalf of the reigning Super Bowl champs aka #BirdGang aka #EaglesNation (really there is only one nation and that is Raider Nation…but that is another story) aka my beloved Philadelphia Eagles:

I am sorry.

We let the whole planet down by losing to the Dallas Cowboys.

Things were going so well.

The Dallas fans were reeling. Their team was losing (which happens most of the time anyway but something special was happening until last night), they were praying for Jason Garrett to be fired pronto, Skip Bayless threw his Dallas gear in the trash,

and best of all:

The Cowboys faithful were SILENT on social media.

Sigh. LINT!

It was almost like the sports world was sane again.

No one was hollering “We’re going to the Super Bowl.” No one was professing “We Dem Boyz” every other social media post.


But nah. We couldn’t leave well enough alone. We had to go out and trick this thing up. In PRIME TIME.

Why Lordt? Why hast thou forsaken we?

Ok I am not gonna blame the Lordt for a subpar performance by my Eagles. This ain’t eeeen about the Eagles for real.

This is about the Cowboys.

Anyway, I’m sorry we allowed Ezekiel Elliott to run for all the yards possible in American history.

I’m sorry we made Dak Prescott look like a competent NFL quarterback.

I’m sorry we allowed Leighton Vander Esch to become the new great American hero based on one above average performance.

And I’m sorry we will now have to listen to these people holla “We Dem Boyz” for the next 7 days.

If the Eagles fall completely out of contention for the NFC East title, I vow to throw my prayers and positive vibes towards the Washington football team.

Because if “We Dem Boyz” at 4-5, who knows what would happen if they were actually good.

Prayers for peace, prosperity, and a social media block on any posts starting with “We Dem…”, “Cowboy Na…”, blue stars, Dirk Nowitzki, JR Ewing, and anything else Dallas related this week.

Let the church say…Amennn-duh!


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